The ABC's of Monty PythonA is for AlbatrossB is for BlackmailC is for Confuse a Cat, LimitedD is for Dead ParrotE is for Exploding version of 'Blue Danube'F is for Far too sillyG is for GumbysH is for Hungarian PhrasebookI is for It'sJ is for Jumping the ChannelK is for Ken Clean-Air SystemsL is for LumberjacksM is for Minister of Silly WalksN is for Nudge NudgeO is for One slice of strawberry tart without so much rat in itP is for Peaches BartkowiczQ is for Queen Erisabeth LR is for Royal Episode 13S is for Scotsman on a HorseT is for TerrysU is for Underwater playsV is for Vicar of St. Loony Up the Cream Bun and JamW is for Whizzo ButterX is for XimenethY is for You're no fun AnymoreZ is for Zepplin
Why I Don't Like TwilightPlease read the description. Please tell me what you think. No profanity, thanks.1. The entire Saga promotes unhealthy obsession in relationships, masochism and necrophilia (okay, LOL, but seriously? Edward's just a corpse)2. Bella has to be the worst heroine in Romance novel history.3. Bella and Edward pretty much ruined Wuthering Heights, Pride and Prejudice and Romeo and Juliet for me. Shakespeare is rolling over in his grave as I write this.4. Edward is a creepy boyfriend. Watching Bella whilst she sleeps; insisting he's a killer and she should stay away, but never letting her get more than a foot away because she's such a hazard to herself.5. Bella drops about forty IQ points whenever she's kissing Edward. Or whenever she sees his godly physique. Or when she catches a whiff off his skin. *shiver*6. I love every character in the book. Seriously. EXCEPT Edward and Bella. Which is not good. I should not be rooting for Jane (the evil Volturi leader) or Victoria (the red headed v
The Truth About Poison ApplesChapter one: The Broken Mirror The castle loomed up out of the fog, in the distance, with vines growing every which way on the walls, and the corners crumbling, even as I watched--making it the most frightening cliche I had seen so far in my adventures. (Which was, actually, saying something.) I crossed my arms over my chest, cold, but too exhausted to reach into my suitcase and pull out the sweatshirt I had packed inside. It was cold enough that it should have been snowing and I was not wearing the correct apparel for this sort of climate. I had just finished up a little charity work and, since I was in the neighborhood, I had decided to do a little sight-seeing. I didn't exactly have anywhere to stay. The hotels were already sold out for the holy and royal matrimony of Snow White and her fiance, Prince Landon. Actually, my "charity work" was the reason I was doing some sight-seeing.
PorcelainChapter Six Stockings were not hard to find in Calais. The lingerie shop down the street from the Trelawney'shouse sold stockings that came in ten different colors. Abbie purchased a pair of black stockings atthe end of two weeks and carried them as she and her husband walked quickly to Fingall's mansion. The sun had just set as they reached the house. They didn't even have to knock, because Fingallopened the door for them first, looking happier than they had ever seen him. "Here are the stockings for which you asked." Abbie handed them to the vampire, and he smiledwider, showing pointed teeth in the back that neither Abbie nor David had yet seen. "Black. Merci. They are perfect!" He ushered them inside, shutting the door and rejoining them until they reached the bottom ofthe stairs. "Christelle's heart has started up again, and she flawle