The ABC's of Monty PythonA is for AlbatrossB is for BlackmailC is for Confuse a Cat, LimitedD is for Dead ParrotE is for Exploding version of 'Blue Danube'F is for Far too sillyG is for GumbysH is for Hungarian PhrasebookI is for It'sJ is for Jumping the ChannelK is for Ken Clean-Air SystemsL is for LumberjacksM is for Minister of Silly WalksN is for Nudge NudgeO is for One slice of strawberry tart without so much rat in itP is for Peaches BartkowiczQ is for Queen Erisabeth LR is for Royal Episode 13S is for Scotsman on a HorseT is for TerrysU is for Underwater playsV is for Vicar of St. Loony Up the Cream Bun and JamW is for Whizzo ButterX is for XimenethY is for You're no fun AnymoreZ is for Zepplin
Right AfterRight after I wrote your song you got another boyfriendYou change guys like girls change clothes to follow the latest trendHe's got a sense of humor, a twinkle in his eyeHe's definite army candy, but I know that's not the reason whyYou had a crushRight after I wrote the last word in the last line of your songYou deleted all his photos from your FacebookAnd it didn't take you longLike tearing off a Band-Aid, that's all it isYou put him on your wounded heartAnd two months later, once it was healed, you took it offAnd you threw it away, you threw him awayWhat's wrong with you?Don't you know that if you're breaking up and getting back togetherThat's how your marriage is gonna be?Don't let it happen to you, girlYou're smarter than that, but when it comes to boysI don't know where all your intellect goesI can't believe you let him goBoy I'm glad I've never had a man in my lifeBut if I did I wouldn't treat him like dirt like you've been doingI thought I knew you thought I
Darling DepartedCHAPTER SIX~When the Cullens arrived, Cordelia was already dead. When Jacob took Alice and Emmett in to visit her, Alice took her by the hand and said, "I wondered that I could no longer see anything in her future."Jacob ran out to tell everyone that Cordelia Cullen was dead, and everyone said she should have a funeral as soon as possible. So, Alice draped black anywhere she could and set up torches on the beach. Jasper and Emmett built a quick coffin and placed Cordelia inside. Jacob led the procession down to the hole Carlisle and Jacob had dug together and after a few parting words from everyone, the coffin was placed in the ground and buried. Renesmee even found a large stone and carved the name "Cordelia" on it, placing it on top of the grave.A crow cawed and soon after, the Cullens started back home and Billy went back to the house. Jacob, Seth and Leah started their nightly fire and said no more about the day.
Allies and Enemies, Part 4CHAPTER FIVE~I slept all day every day, though I stayed up all night till Saturday when Feste visited and I proffered my finger at him again. Instead of biting it though, he perched upside-down on it.Jacob noticed and smiled. "That bat sure has taken a liking to you, Cordi." he said.I stared at Feste and nodded. I felt faint and the bat suddenly fluttered off as I lowered my hand into my lap, unable to hold it up any longer."Jake," I murmured, "I...I think I need...need to go to bed.""You slept all day!" He cried."I just...need to lie down, then." I tried to stand from the log on which Jacob and I sat, but it took a lot more energy than I could have expected. I took a deep breath, swaying with weakness, then ran as best I could to the forest where Feste and I had originally met. I fell to the ground amid the pines and everything went black.When I came to, it was morning and I was lying in an actual bed. I looked around and saw that Jacob was sitting beside me, head sunk on his c
Allies and Enemies, Part 3CHAPTER FIVE~As if to conclude that the Cullens were not like Dracula, no one made a big deal about the two scars on my neck. I was the only one in La Push who knew they meant I was going to die soon. And I was fine with it. At least these Romanians had the decency to drink my blood while I slept so I didn't feel the excruciating pain I'm sure it was.My second Monday night in La Push, the tiny bat returned, but no one paid it any mind. I glanced at it, then turned back to the fire."So, I found out the names of the two vampires from Romania." said Jacob.I sighed. "Oh?""Yeah. Feste is the tall one and the other one is Cassio. I've...heard their conversations."I heard the edge in his voice."Do they talk about me?""Often.""Oh. Viciously?""No. they mostly talk about you in relation to the Cullens. In fact, they seemed a tad tense last night. It seems the Cullens are making their way here."I took a deep breath. I could, for some reason, take the Romanians; but when it came to the
FamiliarCHAPTER ONE~Living in Washington prepared me for life in New York. And life in New York has prepared me to move back to Washington. The familiar rain hit the windows of my dad's old Honda Accord in a comforting way. The plane ride from New York to Washington State had been a trying one and I was ready for nothing more than to be in my old bedroom again.I was so glad to be home with Dad. Mom's new husband, a radio personality named Dan, was up at early hours, keeping me awake late into the night as he ran radio bits and various jokes by me. Not to mention I was tired of living life in such a rush-rush place as New York City.As Dad pulled into the driveway, I unbuckled my seatbelt and looked at him.We sat in the car awhile, listening to the rain outside, and perhaps neither of us really wanted to get out and get wet.Then we made a break for it. Dad popped the trunk and beat me to the door while I struggled with both trying to keep dry and attempting to pull my luggage from the trunk